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| Lunatico tries to hide his disappointment
at the prospect of leaving the Scottish League |
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Scottish Football seems sure to be rocked to
the core by the recent announcement that Fourth Lanark have applied
to the FA to join the English Premiership.
Speaking exclusively to FirstFoot, Manager
P.R.Lunatico said that the controversial decision had been taken
purely for "economic and business reasons."
"Eet is cleer", he went on to say,
"that weeth attendances averaging just under 90 for our home
games, the Scottish League eez no longer viable for us."
Certainly, the prospect of entertaining the
likes of Manchester United and Liverpool at Cowpat Park is a far
more attractive proposition than that currently faced by Fourth's
existing support base, loyal though they may be.
Attendance estimates for Fourth Lanark Vs Southampton
matches alone have been placed at anything from 130 - 300, almost
a potential 200% increase for games against really crap opposition.
An anonymous spokesman for the SFA, Jim Farry,
would not be drawn on the subject. "I would far rather be photographed'
he insisted.
Farry went on to say that "It is certainly
and beyond any doubt certain and sure that clubs such as Celtic,
Rangers and Fourth Lanark, who, whilst being in the main Scottish,
are also British, and would welcome the increased revenues, if not
money or fees, from participating to the extent of taking part in
some kind of British League, have a duty or obligation to maintain
or keep up their involvement in the land of their birth, that being
Scotland, Caledonia or Alba, before such time as they might or might
not decide to part company with said Scottish colleagues and drop
them in the shite, or keech, or brown stuff" before our correspondent
assaulted him in frustration.
In an interesting twist to the saga, former
Clyde, Aberdeen, Spurs, Barcelona, Hibs and Scotland striker, Steve
Archibald, was out of the country at the time and was therefore
unavailable for comment.
Alex Ferguson, who was Archibald's boss at
Aberdeen for a while, was also unavailable for comment, although
it is believed that his phone was engaged.
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