|
|
| International Friendly |
| Austria |
0 |
1 |
Scotland |
| |
|
|
|
European Championship Qualifier |
| Faroe Islands |
0 |
2 |
Scotland |
| |
|
|
Maloney, O'Connor |
Huv ye ever eaten Roast Puffin? Dinnae bother. It’s shite.
Ah took Maw Broon tae Toftir’s finest restaurant, an authentic cowshed complete wi’ authentic cow dung oan the floor. And oan the walls. And tables.
“Nivver mind” says Maw, registering ma sneering look o’ utter distaste as we sat doon. “It’s organic”.
“Naw it’s no” ah replied, “it’s fuggin cowshite”.
The menu wis less than inspiring.
Roast Puffin, Boiled Puffin, Steamed Puffin, Fried Puffin, Sauteed Puffin, Puffin Pie, Puffin Stew, Puffin fuggin everything.
There wis one main course that caught ma eye though so ah says tae the waiter “Whit’s the Puffin Surprise?”
“It’s basically the Roast Puffin sir.”
“So whit’s the fuggin surprise?” ah asked, immediately wishin’ that ah hudnae.
“It’s all to do with the way it’s caught. Normally we just shoot the wee fuckers, but for Puffin Surprise, a man sneaks up on it from behind, snares it roond the neck and shags it up the arse” he says.
“Right enough” ah nodded in understanding, “ah can see that wid certainly gie it a BIG surprise”.
“Does that kill it?” ah asked.
“No, but it gives the male islanders a reason to live and that’s important.”
Anyway, it’s nae wonder these Faroe Islanders feel the urge tae go oot and slaughter the occasional whale. It gies thum a rare dietary change frae fuggin Puffin.
Huv ye ever eaten Roast whale? Dinnae bother. That’s shite too.
And as for Whale Surprise?
Please. Don’t even go there.
Anyway, speakin o’ surprises, two wins on the bounce away frae hame and nae goals conceded? Cannae be a bad way tae end the season.
It wis particularly pleasing tae see Scotland cooking with Gaz again. Garry O’Connor marked his return frae the wilderness wi two well taken goals, one in each match. Along wi many others, ah thought that the gallus young ex-Hibbie wi’ the broad shoulders and planetary sized ego had played his last game fer Scotland after his infamous walk out last October.
Big Eck gave him anurra chance though, on the understanding that he ate a little bit of humble pie and apologised publicly, which he very very nearly did.
Huv ye ever eaten humble pie?
Dinnae bother. It’s shite.
