A FirstFoot World Exclusive

FirstFoot can reveal exclusively that the Scottish Parliament has been conned in one of the most masterful spin exercises ever undertaken by the Labour Party in Scotland.

It was reported in most of Scotland's newspapers that Rod Lynch, the newly appointed £145,000 per year Head of Tourism, was to have his appointment pulled.

Rod Lynch - victim of sensational spin coup

Mr Lynch was widely promoted by the Scottish Executive as the saviour of Scottish tourism which is reeling from the bad publicity generated by Foot and Mouth disease.

Most newspapers reported that Mr Lynch's appointment had been pulled because of a conflict of interest with his previous employers who would require him to work one month a year for them.

Sensationally, this is all a huge cover up.

Mr. Lynch has not been "pulled" as the newspapers report.

Mr. Lynch has been "CULLED" !!!!!!

A typing mistake at the Scottish Office meant that the instruction to "order the pulling of Mr. Lynch's appointment" was actually issued to the army as "order the culling of Mr Lynch".

A crack unit of Army officers descended on Mr. Lynch's home yesterday and ruthlessly despatched the unfortunate Head of Tourism.

He has been cremated in a pig pit with other snout-in-the-trough animals.

EXCLUSIVE PICTURE

Rod Lynch's legs can still be seen in the funeral pyre