Brian "Bankrupt" Monteith

Don't you just love it when pompous turds offer themselves up for public office and expose themselves to the ridicule that they deserve but don't always get?

This horrible wee man is  the Scottish "rent a quote" equivalent of many of the most odious Thatcherites of the 80's.

A sidekick and protege of that politician beloved of most Scots, Michael Forsyth, and a fellow Young Conservative of St Andrews University infamy, this wee nyaff has a secret that he hides from public view and is not available in his anodyne biography on the Scottish parliament web site.

Apart from being an ex-spokesman for some less than desirable causes such as "the right to smoke yourself to death as long as we make a profit" campaign group, the wee,fat, bald incompetent went and made himself bankrupt a few years ago.

But, like those big smelly jobbies that won't flush down the pan, Montieth keeps bobbing into view. No amount of poking with the metaphorical lavvy brush can get rid of him.