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Recent reports from Westminster state that the British government
is to commission a fleet of ministerial aircraft to rival
America's Airforce One. This has led to a furious debate at
Holyrood to define Scotland's response.
The Westminster proposal envisages
a converted Boeing 747 for long haul flights, a small jet
for short haul journeys and a helicopter.
In one of our regular world exclusives
(how do we do it?), FirstFoot is delighted to report that
Holyrood has agreed on a set of recommendations for an appropriate
air transport facility for the First Minister and his cohorts.
The report, subtitled "Scotland's
Balloon for Scotland's Balloons", recommends that
the purchase of a hot air balloon be undertaken as soon
as budgetary constraints allow.
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Scotland's
Balloon for Scotland's Balloons
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| The report bases
its recommendations on the following suppositions: |
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As most Scottish
politicians are full of wind and hot air, they will
feel at home in a dirigible. |
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Hot air balloons are large structures
with very little internal substance, much like Scottish
politicians and the Scottish parliament. |
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Hot air balloons are very simple,
as are Scottish politicians. |
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The skirt is an essential part
of a hot air balloon. It is also an essential item of
apparel for Scottish politicians abroad. |
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Hot air balloons manoeuvre by
going with the prevailing wind. Much the same as Scottish
politicians .... as long as the wind is coming from
the South East. |
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